Chasing Fulfillment

In November 2024, I left my job with nothing lined up. I was dealing with a level of burnout that was causing me to spiral and not really be able to function. I was not sleeping, my nail biting had gotten really bad, and I was considering getting my anxiety meds increased to help me power through. But it all came to a head when I broke down in a 1:1 and told my manager I couldn't do it anymore. I had nothing left in the tank.

Being able to say "I'm done" lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders. And looking back, I now understand a lot of the burnout was from a mismatch in what my role had been morphed into -vs- what I am motivated by. Staying would never have been successful for anyone involved.

In the early part of my time away from work, the thought of doing anything in the UX space would send me into panic attacks. I thought I was done working in a field that I have been in for almost 20 years because of the level of burnout I was trying to recover from. However, after I got some distance I started looking at the things that "filled my tank" -vs- "drained my tank", and the one that was always at the top of the filling list was helping others grow.

I looked forward to 1:1s with the people that I managed. It was important time to me, and I made sure that each person knew that was their time with me to get whatever they needed from me. Some people needed to vent. Some wanted to learn where things were going. Some were hands off and we shot the shit for 30-45 minutes. Some may think that approach is crazy, but on our employee engagement surveys, I tended to be one of the few managers that had high levels of "feeling valued" and "My manager cares about me and my career growth" scores.

I did it for two reasons -
1: It is the right thing to do.
2: The time I invested paid out huge dividends. I got to watch people really grow and mature in their career. They would go from not knowing how to navigate an internal politics situation to beaming because they felt like they had the agency to handle conversations themselves.

Since I kept coming back to this want to help others grow and improve, I realized that one option for my next step could be coaching. That is purely focused on the growth and development side of things and it would allow me to make a positive impact on other people's lives.

I spent some time putting together a small website - https://www.evanpasserocoaching.com/ - and have been reaching out to my network to let people know this is an option if they, or anyone they know, is interested.

One of the biggest hurdles so far is

Overall, everything is not doing great - costs are continuing to rise, more and more people are being laid off because people think "AI first" is a good idea, and when someone has to choose between making sure they can eat and keep a roof over their head -or- have some "work therapy", as some people have jokingly called it, they are going to chose safety every time.

I'm still trying to make this work, but I am being realistic that most likely this will not be the only thing I do in order to resume some sort of income. I've already put together some proposals for some consulting gigs, and have been applying for full time jobs nonstop in the hopes of getting anything to move my direction.

I am continuing to work on all the certifications for coaching, so if other opportunities come along I'll have everything in order. Its a shame I decided to pivot into something that relies on disposable income when that is quickly becoming an outdated concept.

Its funny... I started writing thinking I was going to complain about all the people that promised to write up short testimonial blurbs for me that haven't come through, but that isn't where my brain-fingers took me. I guess it was more important to some part of me to acknowledge both where I was coming from, and why this effort is important to me, even when it feels like an uphill slog.